Marriage? Bah Humbug! Who Needs That?

To quote philosopher Herbert Spencer: "Marriage is a word which should be pronounced ‘mirage’."

The vision that most people have of marriage and what they expect to get out of such a union is nothing but a mirage… a vision that they imagine exists but which does not and probably never has.

Marriage was established as a social and religious based institution, allegedly to protect women and children and provide them with a legitimized existence. In exchange for these benefits, women were expected to perform a wide range of carefully scripted duties, performed in a way that met their husband’s approval and needs. Men received a virgin bride, a dowry, someone to cook and clean their castle, a vehicle to bear his children, and a sexual servant.

The funny thing about having a protector though, is that in exchange you have no rights, no privileges, no voice, and no power. Women had to fight men to balance the scales of justice and self-respect, and men didn’t like it. No one fighting for survival should ever be expected to be "gentle."

Women realized decades ago that they got the raw end of the deal in marriage. Having to ask a man for money to buy tampons or get your nails done? I don’t think so! Traditional marriage with its limiting gender-based roles meant living your life for a man or children and giving up opportunities for self-expression, the right to have your own thoughts and opinions, and opportunities for growth and fulfillment that were meaningful on a personal level.

This is exactly why marriage is not attractive to women anymore. We can get pregnant and have a baby any time we want, and have sex whenever we want it. We are a vital part of the economy, we own property, vote, travel the world, run our own businesses, and dress the way we please.

There is no 50/50 in modern relationships! Men still expect women to be the perfect little Mrs., yet pull her own weight financially, take care of the kids, the house, and his needs. What is attractive about that?

And when a man claims to love you, why would he abandon you to shoulder such burdens alone? That crap isn’t demonstrating love at all! And when a woman feels abandoned, overburdened, exhausted, and angry, how could she trust the love her man proclaims to have for her?

Creating synergy in a relationship or marriage is the responsibility of the male. You want to be the leader and the head of the household, then take the reins and effect positive change!

Remember, modern women don’t NEED a husband anymore, but many still WANT one… as long as he can respect the fact that her world includes him, but does not revolve around him.