Single Black Women and Workplace Sexual Harassment

I had a recent experience with sexual harassment in the workplace. Wasn’t anything that I couldn’t handle and I’m fine with how I ultimately handled the situation. What I want to share with you though is the widely disparate responses that both men and women had to the situation. Shockingly, many of them did not view these unwelcome, sexual comments and obscene gestures by my married male coworker as harassment. I was accused me of being "too sensitive," of "probably starting it!" and "a big baby" for seeing it as such.

In other words, a lot of people have a high tolerance for bullshit and mistreatment by men in the workplace, and think women control men and make them say and do these things. They also seemed to believe that women are supposed to accept male’s rude disrespect with a smile. Anyone that knows me knows for a fact that I AIN"T THAT WOMAN!

This is what happened.

I work part time as a personal trainer at a medically based fitness facility. This organization has a very strict policy against sexual harassment of both staff and patients/ members. A group of six trainers (males and females) were in the bullpen (where we store our belongings and client files, use the computer and make phone calls) talking about our fourth of July holiday weekend. We were laughingly discussing fireworks, food and family outings with the kids, nothing more.

Keep in mind I know these people, but have never dated any of them, don’t hang out with them outside of work, do not discuss my personal affairs with them, and have never had any type of personal discussion about our sex lives, not with even the women. All they know is that I am single and have a daughter. What I do outside of work is not their business and I don’t want to know about their love lives either.

So one by one their clients arrive and everyone walks off. I am left there waiting for my client with one of the male trainers, a married man in his late 40s. He initiates a conversation by starting to tell me about HIS weekend. He says that he went to this popular nightclub in San Francisco that

Saturday night, and how all the girlys had on super short skirts. He added "I had a hard-on the whole night!"

I was appalled at his statement and shocked that he would think that was something I wanted to hear. I frowned at him then said, "um hmm, and where was your wife?" He replied "oh she was there!" I then told him that it was great he had fun, but that I didn’t need to know all those details next time and that information was an over share and TMI. Trying to be cool and light about it and not cuss his audacious ass out, I walked off to join my client.

This week he seemed to spend a lot of time staring at me from various places around the gym. Really creepy stuff. Even my clients noticed it and commented, but they claimed to have noticed this behavior for the past few weeks, whereas I only noticed it THIS week after our exchange on Monday. Each day I become more watchful and suspicious of this guy’s motives.

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